Is there someone who has wronged you in the past and whom you have not forgiven?  Would you like to stop holding grudges and holding onto past events? 

Holding onto lack of forgiveness keeps you dwelling on the past and if your focus is on the past, you stay in the past because you get what you focus on.  When you let go and forgive, you set yourself free from the past and give yourself permission to live in the present and enjoy creating the future that you desire. 

Learning from the past

Forgiveness includes accepting yourself and the other person for what happened.  When you forgive, you learn from the situation rather than forget about it or condone the inappropriate behaviour.  The only reason that people hold onto the past is so that they can learn from it; once we learn from it, it is easier to forgive and to let it go.  By learning from the situation now you will avoid repeating the same lessons in the future. 

Are you ready to forgive? 

What is preventing you from forgiving other people?  Do you want them to see or remember how much they hurt you or do you want to get back at them for what they did?  They are probably unaware of your hurt so by holding onto lack of forgiveness you are only hurting yourself.

If you believe that the other person has to do something before you will forgive them, you are focusing on things beyond your control and are choosing to remain stuck.  If as you think about that situation or person you feel emotions (eg. anger, hurt, betrayal, etc) which are out of proportion to that situation, it is important to resolve those emotions. This will make it easier for you to forgive them.

The more you hold onto the past and what someone has done to hurt you the more you harbour those emotions, stored in the mind-body as trapped energy.  If unresolved, these emotions can lead to health problems and drain you of energy.  Lack of forgiveness is also one emotional reason for weight gain and for holding onto weight. 

Moving On

Remember that people are doing the best they know how with the resources they have, how they were brought up and what they have learnt along the way.  They, like you, are human.  Forgiveness can be achieved in many ways, either with or without the other person being present as you forgive them.

Firstly, look at how you participated in and contributed to the event – take responsibility for your part in the situation and consider how you could have done things differently.  Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation because the positive learning will assist you to let it go and to move on.  It is important that your learning is positive and about yourself (eg. I can trust myself) rather than negative and about others (eg. I can’t trust other people).

In order to forgive others, you need to forgive yourself.  So if you are angry or disappointed in yourself for past mistakes, keep in mind that these events and people are there simply for you to learn from, rather than mistakes.  Punishing yourself for what you did or did not do only hurts you and blocks your flow of energy and happiness.  Ask yourself, “What is the one thing you could do right now that once you complete it, will allow you to fully and completely forgive yourself?” 

Once you forgive yourself, you can more easily forgive other people and free yourself to live your full potential now and in the future.

Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is the founder of Q^t, an NLP Trainer, Master Hypnotherapist, a breakthrough consultant, author, holds a PhD and a BEc, is a sought after speaker and the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques.  Empower yourself today with your FREE one hour consultation (valued at $300).  Visit www.qttransformation.com today or call Dr. Vesna on (03) 9653-9288. 

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